A man walks up to the counter. Foremost I am hit with the overpowering aroma of his aftershave. It stinks like the ground up sweat of small boys. After the initial shock of his pungent after-shavey wall of doom I am struck by his hideous face. The short, fat man scratches at himself through his outdated Hawaiian shirt. Is that a stye in his left eye? he places a new copy of final cut on the counter, fumbling it between his fat sausage fingers endowed with 5kg of jewel encrusted gold.
is this man:
a) going home to string together a montage of family footage to the sounds of Jeff Buckley so that he can send it to aunt erma overseas who will be simply delighted to see how much little billy has grown
b) edit and sell bootleg DVDs
c) edit his daughters wedding video for her, omitting certain parts that may incriminate her in any future court proceedings
d) edit and sell footage of little boys naked.
the correct answer in my opinion is d. (but Im willing to concede it could be b.)
When a man comes into my store, and required better quality editing software I know he is making pornographic films. Probably involving children.
Now you may be thinking 'Sarah, you have no right to be making such assumptions, he could be a professional video editor or some kind of wedding photographer' my answer to you is no. I know what film editors look like and its not a 50 year old balding man who is sweaty and over weight. Why? because professional video editors come from Hollywood and everyone in Hollywood looks fabulous. Fact.
If you are a 50 year old sweaty balding man with a heart condition and a gum leg, and you enjoy editing family movies then by all means, defend yourself and drop me a line.
The other give away if the fact that the software commonly purchased is to edit high definition video. WHO shoots movies on high definition video cameras? who in their right mind purchases a high definition camera to record little billys ballet recital. Nobody, but when its time for Billy to take a bath, then that makes the HD camera an investment!
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